Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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