How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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