I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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