she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
