Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
