I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
