a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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