Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
