Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
