We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
