I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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