We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
