Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
