Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
