this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
