I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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