Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
