I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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