he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
