they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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