I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
