those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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