dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
