I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
