Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
