If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
