Hey man sorry I got all grabby
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
be right there i have to get my cape
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
