So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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