am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
