As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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