Yo dont text me then not text me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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