He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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