Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
