She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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