The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
