You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
