So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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