I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
