summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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