my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
