quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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