Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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