So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
