Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
