its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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