I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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