he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
