Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
