i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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