Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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