His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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